trouble is my middle name [“woody allen story”]

(monologue—perhaps inside the mind of the speaker, perhaps talking to herself—in Arising / Being / Passing colors, each with particular sonic treatment—and lines in quotes coming from a non-localized space and disembodied voice hard to find or identify)

I woke up to a ringing telephone.

"Humph,"

I said with one eye open (I thought I was saying hello).

" It seems the world's divided into good and bad people.

« The good ones sleep better... »

(( Two Glimpse One – 1) –or- see – 2 later)

while the bad ones seem to enjoy the waking hours,"

a disembodied voice screamed through the receiver. I recognized that joke from some obscure Woody Allen movie. I don't know why I didn't hang up. Instead, I looked at the clock and noted it was 5:30 (a.m.). Since I couldn't recall Diane Keaton's line, I said nothing (mom taught me

"if you have nothing Keaton-ish to say, say nothing").

I used to practice meditation with a roshi who would encourage me to watch life as it unfolds.

"Think of life as a Woody Allen movie"

seemed quite doable at the moment. I'm generally sure I know what's coming next. Usually it involves someone screwing with me. The world is divided into those who embrace life and those who run from it. I'm a channel surfer; I run with my fingers.

Before I knew it,

"Trouble is my middle name,"

idiotically slipped from my mouth. I don't know how I remembered that line from Manhattan. I looked over at the clock again and now it was 3:33 (a.m.) In a little less than two hours my phone will ring and someone will be screwing with me.

« I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens, »

I Allen-ishly thought to myself. I began feeling consumed with an overwhelming desire to please my boss. Actually my old boss—now I hire him for freelance work. And then, the stranger on the phone started sounding so much like that old boss, now my employee, that I lost my voice. Why do we watch movies? I wondered.

(change monologue sonic treatment)

A film-editor friend once told me he put the last scene in the middle of a movie he was working on. His boss didn't realize and he was afraid to tell him, so the movie was released with the error. Everyone thought it was intentional, that the director was making a brilliant statement about non-sequential time. The mistake made the movie a hit.

"Somewhat like life,"

I said to my friend, though as soon as the words left my mouth I had no idea what I meant.

"Our consciousness is the totality of our seeds, …

« If we practice mindful living, we will know how to water the seeds of

joy »

(The Story of Being Invisible)

and transform the seeds of sorrow and suffering so that

understanding, compassion, and loving kindness will flower

in us—we will watch our films with detachment, as though

they are dreams of dreams in dreams,"

he said to me in the voice of my roshi. I looked over at the clock—6:66 (p.m). I looked at my hands—no phone. I looked at the TV, I was watching a Woody Allen movie again.

(change monologue sonic treatment)

Life as we know it is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. Right before I meet my maker someone will phone me and tell me to turn off the set, that

« the movie is over and its time to live »

((Two Glimpse One – 2) –or- see – 1 earlier)

every waking moment.